"How’d I get into art? Art chose me the moment I realized I could handle it. After watching my start-up blossom into the 300-person company that it became under my inimitable leadership, and with the help of marketing data from undisclosed online sources, I think I can honestly say I definitely know what people think they want. They want inspiration. They want decisiveness and intention. They want evocative-ness and a royal blue motif, rendered fuzzy through the application of three layers of Instagram filters, with a sweeping, sad, hyper-real statement like, “LIFE IS BULLSHIT” hastily scrawled across the middle third. People want to walk around a gallery, stop at your framed picture of the sculpture you 3D printed and imagine it hanging tastefully above their electronic fireplaces, and they also want to know that over 27 hours of despair and some irony went into it. But most of all they want to feel understood. And well-liked."